Happy New Year! A LOT has happened since my last entry; so sorry to have been neglectful! Let's see; I got kidney stones for my birthday, had a nice little hospital stay plus plenty of Vicodin, buried a dear friend, visited my bestie, filled my house with useless Christmas gifts, revamped my Avon business, and started my internship! Needless to say; I've been half crazed...but its all good in the (non)hood.
At any rate; driving home today in between my TI and DJ Khaled playlists; "No More Drama" came on the radio. I IMMEDIATELY burst into tears. Not because I have drama; because I don't. For all of the busyness and hurt; my life is drama free. But I started crying because when that song came out I was in hell. The song described what I was trying to get away from. Just over 10 years ago; September 2001.
September 11, 2001 had occurred. My daughter was a 3 month old in my arms as I watched the towers fall on that morning. I'd called my dad and sister both of whom were living in NJ and working in NY at the time; they were both safe, thank God. My daughter had a stomach flu, we'd been in the hospital all weekend. When I bought the album, I found this song and played it incessantly...I was in an abusive relationship. My money was funny post maternity leave. I'd just finished college and had no idea what I wanted to do when I grew up; so I was job hunting. I wasn't in church. I felt like crap daily; overwhelmed, hair falling out, house in disarray. Then the tragedy of 9/11 hit and launched me into a depressive state for weeks. I heard this song and it just hit me at my CORE. It took me awhile to change the cirumstances I was in at the time.....but I did.
And 10 years later, my God. I am in such a different place. I have a new appreciation for myself, for life, for my loved ones. I know my worth; I know how to fix what is wrong and who to go to when it IS wrong. So I can sing "No More Drama" with tears of joy because I truly do NOT have drama. I have such peace. No; life isn't perfect, but it doesn't have to be. I'm alive, I'm present, I'm surrounded with love.
"I don't know, only God knows where the story ends for me. But I know where the story begins; its up to us to choose, whether we win or lose. And I choose to win" That line right there says it all. No more drama in MY life. May you reach that place as well.
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