No More Drama....

Hi all:

Happy New Year!  A LOT has happened since my last entry; so sorry to have been neglectful!  Let's see; I got kidney stones for my birthday, had a nice little hospital stay plus plenty of Vicodin, buried a dear friend, visited my bestie, filled my house with useless Christmas gifts, revamped my Avon business, and started my internship! Needless to say; I've been half crazed...but its all good in the (non)hood.

At any rate; driving home today in between my TI and DJ Khaled playlists; "No More Drama" came on the radio.  I IMMEDIATELY burst into tears.  Not because I have drama; because I don't.   For all of the busyness and hurt; my life is drama free.  But I started crying because when that song came out I was in hell.  The song described what I was trying to get away from.  Just over 10 years ago; September 2001.

September 11, 2001 had occurred.  My daughter was a 3 month old in my arms as I watched the towers fall on that morning.  I'd called my dad and sister both of whom were living in NJ and working in NY at the time; they were both safe, thank God.  My daughter had a stomach flu, we'd been in the hospital all weekend.  When I bought the album, I found this song and played it incessantly...I was in an abusive relationship.  My money was funny post maternity leave.  I'd just finished college and had no idea what I wanted to do when I grew up; so I was job hunting.  I wasn't in church.  I felt like crap daily; overwhelmed, hair falling out, house in disarray.  Then the tragedy of 9/11 hit and launched me into a depressive state for weeks.  I heard this song and it just hit me at my CORE.  It took me awhile to change the cirumstances I was in at the time.....but I did.

And 10 years later, my God.  I am in such a different place.  I have a new appreciation for myself, for life, for my loved ones.  I know my worth; I know how to fix what is wrong and who to go to when it IS wrong. So I can sing "No More Drama" with tears of joy because I truly do NOT have drama.  I have such peace.  No; life isn't perfect, but it doesn't have to be.  I'm alive, I'm present, I'm surrounded with love.

"I don't know, only God knows where the story ends for me.  But I know where the story begins; its up to us to choose, whether we win or lose.  And I choose to win"  That line right there says it all.  No more drama in MY life.  May you reach that place as well.

35...and counting

So tomorrow is my birthday.  Well according to my mother; tomorrow at 11:19PM is my birthday.  She never acknowledges it until the minute of my birth.  I was kind of excited, because I feel like 35 is a milestone...but as the day has gotten closer, I'm like, a milestone of what?  Babies, Bills, and Burdens?

I praised Him in the car this afternoon listening to "I am God".  That is so my song.  And as I listened to it; it reminded me that I am SO blessed to be alive, so blessed to have what and who I have, and that whatever I DON'T have is simply not meant for me.  For He's my provider, He'll fight my battles, He'll give me PEACE.  So marinating on that, I think that for me, making 35 is besides being a blessing in and of itself because I have SO many friends who did not make it here---but its a blessing and its a milestone that I've reached that age and stage where I have blessings and peace.  I feel good about who and what I am.  I feel proud of my children, to the point of tears some days. I have rich, real relationships.  I have a nice roof over my head.  I have a brand new car.  I'm not begging for money on the street.  I have been at the same job that I (mostly) enjoy for years. I have opportunity for education that I continue to take advantage of.  I have simply awesome parents, mother AND father.  I have beautiful, caring sisters.  I have hundreds of thousands of sorority sisters.  And right now; I have pink Moscato in my hand :))

I am so BLESSED.  ABUNDANTLY blessed.  I do not take that for granted.  And the blessings allow me peace.  I am at peace with myself.  With those around me.  With my station in life.  With what I do have and what I don't have.  I'm even at peace with my paycheck; although it could ALWAYS be bigger.  I feel like I've lived a good life and made positive contributions.

But I also feel like crossing this threshold takes me from young adult to a for REAL grown ass woman.  Now when I say it; I can say it with conviction.  LOL.

So as I darken the doorstep of 35 tomorrow; I will do brilliantly and maybe even with some flair.  Gotta show my daughters that 35 isn't "old" its just another age :)

Toodles!

Day 4: Leaves

Walking around downtown Chi near the Loyola campus...the leaves on this tree struck me!

Day 3: Happiness

Happiness is walking through downtown Oak Park...and seeing my fav Five Guys :))

Day 2: Smile

This is the smile (well, one of 2 smiles) that makes my WHOLE day....

Day 1: Favorite Food

Bearing in mind that I'm not actually EATING this today since ya know, this ratchet Weight Watchers...but this IS my favorite "food" if you will.....*slurrrrrrp*

30 Day Photo Challenge: Gratitude

So some folks I know and I decided to try this 30 day photo challenge starting today.  Seems like a fun way for me to have to pay attention, so I figured I'd let you all see what I come up with each day!  Hopefully I stay in all 30 days and don't pull my adult ADD tricks and lose interest!  If you want to join in; go right ahead!!!