Why kids these days are messed up...

Ironically; I watched my FAVORITE television show, Real Housewives of Atlanta, last night after I developed the idea for this posting...watching Phaedra ramble on about how she needs her weekly man/ped, she needs her exercise, and she only got 5 hours sleep at night while she was pregnant..then get her first look at her newborn son and respond "Ew. Gross." solidified that I needed to write this today. LOL

Not that I am saying Phaedra (for those of you that watch the show, if you don't, go to Bravo's website for a gander) is the benchmark but her self-centered attitude about her impending motherhood is definitely something that has been adopted by more and more mothers; to the detriment of the upcoming generations.

Your life will change
This "me" attitude that has permeated society is literally; KILLING our children. Let me start with the first thing that women tell ourselves: "My life isn't going to stop because I have a child". Nope it will not stop, but it damn sure better CHANGE. You are now responsible for the carriage and care of another human being. This is not a task you should take on lightly. This isn't a gold tooth kiosk. Its not a shoe sale at DSW. Your child wasn't given to you as a prize at the State Fair. You can't undo it. And unlike the things I mentioned above, prizes, shoes, and gold teeth(well, not the gold teeth) you can't take on raising a child and your life not change (cause your life WILL change if you get gold teeth lol). I guess you COULD, but then my kids have to deal with sitting next to your kids---whose mother smoked and drank while she was pregnant so they have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and are underweight, whose mom decided that penis is the priority so her kids come to school and act out the mom's show with "Uncle" or "Aunt" X from the night before (cause she can't even wait until the kids are sleep), and don't forget the kids who can't read the "stop" sign because mom decided she'd rather Facebook and Tweet than make sure the kid did his 30 minutes of reading. Hell; he don't even have a book, everything in the house is a National Enquirer!

You don't get a cookie for doing what you're SUPPOSED to do
Having children is a sacrifice...you don't get extra points in life for being the "cute" mom, or helping your kids with their homework yet still getting to the club while it's free--you also don't get extra points for doing right by your kids, because that is EXPECTED. You get extra points for raising kids that actually contribute to society and don't blow the rest of us up. Your kid doesn't have to be President Obama, but try not to make him President of the Weloveboys society. Your daughter doesn't have to be Oprah, but keep an eye on her enough so she's not compelled to be Tyra Banxxx. Sometimes you can't stop your child from going down the wrong path, but sometimes we contribute to it by demonstrating self centered, self-serving parenting. You don't have to sacrifice your happiness, but sometimes what you want and what your children need will simply not line up---then what are you going to do? Convince yourself that if you get what you want, what your child needs will fall into place?...another lie. Its vice versa.

Its simple--your life will and needs to change when you become a parent. Your priorities should change, your outlook on life should change, your sacrifice should change. Your walk should change--you should have parent swag! You will care about different things, your perspective will change. How you look at your mate will change. Your life will change, for the good and the bad--but its necessary so you can be responsible for these persons you are legally required to clothe and feed and let them loose in the world as your representative.

Its so funny; because getting pregnant is so easy and fun for most of us, folks think that parenting is too. Its NOT. And what is killing our kids is these wack ass parents who think that. So when the baby doesn't fall in line with what you want to do; like conceiving fell in line with your compulsion to screw--then its an imposition. I don't know a single kid that ASKED to be here...and since s/he didn't, the full responsibility for that child's existence falls on you. So next time you're mad cause his parent-teacher conference interfered with your lunch plans, or she got sick right before you were headed out of town, or his need for tutoring to pass 8th grade depleted your shoe fund--look in the mirror and point, YOU are the one to be mad at, suck your teeth at, fuss at, yell at, roll your eyes at, complain about...that baby was an egg chilling minding his/her own business before you got hot in the butt that night...LOL

And yes; I'm primarily speaking to mothers...fathers require an entirely different blog because at the root of it all: I am a sexist, and its my blog. Mama's baby, daddy's maybe. Mothers are the nurturers and responsible for the primary caregiving...we're the cake, and fathers are the icing. Many have made themselves optional; but are truly still a requirement, you can't eat a dry ass cake right? (ReaLM rule:)Remember that the next time you get your once per month opportunity to complain about your kid's father...only once a month, for 5 minutes max, generally around child support time. Anything more than that is wallowing, and let's face it--you chose him. But we'll talk about the available choices (or lack thereof?) in another post.

Toodles!

ReaLM