What about your friends?

"What about your friends, will they stand their ground, will they let you down?"

So I have been thinking a lot about this concept lately--friendship.

What makes a friend? What constitutes friendship? We throw the word around hella loosely; but what power does the word actually have?

I'll say at the outset--I am stingy with genuine friendship. You can call it bitterness, burned, whatever; but when I've had disingenuous friendships. Some when I was younger, disintegrated and hurt me to my core. After that, I made a decision, that I would not undertake friendship lightly. So to be my friend is an investment. I know a lot of folks; but most people fall into acquaintance, Soror, classmate, current or former co-worker, or someone I know. Just because I break bread with you once in awhile, doesn't make you my friend. We're not friends because I chat with you on Gchat. And we DAMN sure ain't friends because we're Facebook friends!

So what is a friend to me? First of all; as a grown woman, I really don't make new friends. Most of my friends; I've known for over 10-20 years. My down like 4 flat tires? Yeah, they are long-termers. I've got two really good friends that I've met 5 years ago...but they are the last people I really let in as "friends".

Let me tell you what a friend ain't: a friend isn't one who only contacts you when they need something. Its someone who is running around telling my business to anyone who'll listen. Its not someone who presumes and assumes things about my life, or their place in it. A friend is not someone I've known less than 5 years! Its not someone who only shares the bad, and never the good or vice versa. Oooh, and mark this: a friend does not COMPETE with you. Ya'll are in this together, not running a race against each other!

Friendship to me means that I can call you in the middle of the night; and you know its for a good reason. It means that I never ask you to keep my children; but I know they can come over whenever they need to. It means that you know to ask when I answer the phone "What's wrong?". It means that I will go out of my way for you; and I don't wonder if you would do the same for me--whether you ever have a chance to; I know it. Friendship is easy; not hard. Friendship doesn't involve agonizing over the friendship---that's what these men are for! LOL Friendship means I can talk to you when these men aren't right...and you'll listen. And whether they're right or not; you'll tell me about them, and about myself too! Friendship means, YEP, you JUDGE ME. And I don't hold it against you, because you love me more than you judge me. Friendship means we might not talk for 6 months; but you are there when I need you and vice versa. It means we "get"each other, over distance, time, and circumstances.

For me; friendship means you know me...you know what I can deal with and what I can't. You know my limits, my hurts, my weaknesses and you respect them. It means I wear crappy bridesmaid dresses with a smile, and you will too! It means you hold on while I scream on my children and understand if I leave you on hold 10 minutes.

I have people who I deemed friends who disappointed me---talked about me, stopped returning my calls, flat out betrayed me. But I thank heavens; I have so many MORE friends who have lasted with me throughout the years. I am so fortunate, my friends are like family to me---and I treasure them.

If any of my true friends happen across this posting; well, I love you!

For the faux friends, well, fuck you very much! (oooh; that felt so good, I might need to send this directly to some folks lol)

Toodles!

ReaLM